I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
