Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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