you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
