Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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