yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
