Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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