I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
