Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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