you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
