Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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