no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
