My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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