i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
