ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
