It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize