Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
