I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize