Dude my mom stole all your condoms
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
