No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Pooping to opera.
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