remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
