I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
