i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
