Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
