I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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