so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
