The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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