Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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