ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
