My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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