The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
