So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
stop calling my apartment porn island.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
