Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
