Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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