Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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