she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
