in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Come on in and take your pants off
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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