He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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