honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize