You're so nebulous sometimes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
