ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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