You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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