Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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