her vagine was all disorganized.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
