my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
