Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
