I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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