people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
