I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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