What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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