I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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