i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
