Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
