You just made me feel so damn special
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
