If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
