If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
