I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
