Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
