I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
