If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
