he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
