I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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