Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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