just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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