you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
