Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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