No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
