he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
