Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
