im drinking this country out of the recession.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
