Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
