who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
