Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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