I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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