Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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