hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
