I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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