Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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