is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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