I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
