I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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