He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
